BLOOD ON THE COVER
by
Kathleen E. Kovach
(But don't hold it against me!)
Little did she know that Blain, the man she'd just met at the party downstairs lay just a few feet away, behind the large desk--his lifeblood draining through the floor boards.
He could see her slender legs and tiny feet from under the desk. He tried to call to her, but the mortal world was fast slipping away, and with it all mortal ability.
Ashley moved across the room to the black walnut shelves that held the classics her father had shared with her those many years ago. She flipped her lustrous blonde hair over her shoulder and twitched her full cherry colored lips in concentration.
Eyes followed her every move. Eyes hidden behind the heavy drape.
Suddenly, Ashley tripped over something. A pair of feet! Blain cried out, pain shooting to the wound in his chest.
Ashley fell on him, knocking over the heavy podium that held the family Bible.
"Ouch!" Rupert called out from the curtain as the heavy book landed on his toe.
**END OF SCENE**
Permission granted to print this as long as my copyright is included. If you try this with your group, please drop me a line and let me know how it went along with any suggestions you might have.
Copyright © 2005 Kathleen E. Kovach. All Rights Reserved
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
A Writer Group Exercise
On POV
(Using the story above)
A tube is worth a thousand words.
Preparation:
One toilet paper tube with the name "Ashley/Reader" drawn on the side.
One sign with a drop of blood and the words, “Victim – Blain”.
One sign with a knife drawn on it and the words, “Murderer – Rupert”.
Pick 3 people. Have them stand or sit side by side. Give the middle one a toilet paper tube. DON’T let her see the two signs. Have her put it to her eye and close the other. Tell her to look straight ahead. This is important: DO NOT give the middle person any clue to the other two characters.
Explain that she is “Ashley”, the main character in the book, Blood on the Cover.
Moderator stands behind “Ashley”.
Hand Ashley the toilet paper tube and make sure she puts it to her eye and closes the other one. Give the person to her right the sign that says “Victim” and the person on the left the sign that says “Murderer”.
With Ashley looking straight ahead, ask her if she can see what is going on around her. –No?
Have her turn to her right.
Ask Ashley what she sees. –A victim?
Explain: When the POV character walks in a room, you can’t say, “She had no idea what she was walking into.” When she sees the victim, you can’t say, “Little did she know that the murderer lay in wait a few feet behind her.” This pulls your POV into omniscient, also known as author intrusion. Remember, for 3rd person, the reader can ONLY see what the POV character sees.
Have Ashley turn to her left.
Ask Ashley what she sees. –A murderer?
Explain: Now we have the whole scene before us, but only as Ashley sees it.
RUN, ASH, RUN! But not yet, I’m not finished with you…
Hopping Is For Bunnies
Read the following story, using the same three people and have them hand the tube back and forth, depending on whose head the writer is in at the moment. Encourage the whole group to help. The following is marked in a special way for the moderator only.
BLOOD ON THE COVER
By
Kathleen E. Kovach
Pink=Ashley; Blue=Blain; Green=Rupert
Ashley walked into the library of Greystone Manor, her childhood home. The pleasant smells greeted her, evoking memories of her father. The sizzling oak in the fireplace, his expensive cigars, the Bay Rum cologne he always wore.
Little did she know [Big No-No.] that Blain, the man she’d just met at the party downstairs, lay just a few feet away behind the large desk—his lifeblood draining through the floor boards. [This can't be Ashley's POV since she can't see Blain, so who’s POV is this?]
He could see her slender legs and tiny feet from under the desk. He tried to call to her, but the mortal world was fast slipping away, and with it all mortal ability. [Now we’re in Blain’s POV.]
Ashley moved across the room to the black walnut shelves that held the classics [Is Blain watching her, or are we back to Ashley?] her father had shared with her those many years ago. She flipped her lustrous blonde hair over her shoulder and twitched her full cherry colored lips in concentration. [Ashley can’t see herself, and unless she’s incredibly vain, she probably wouldn’t refer to herself this way.]
Eyes followed her every move. Eyes hidden behind the heavy drape.
Suddenly, Ashley tripped over something. A pair of feet! Blain cried out, pain shooting to the wound in his chest.
Ashley fell on him, knocking over the heavy podium that held the family Bible. [We’ve been jerked around so much, we don’t know who’s seeing this.] “Ouch!” [Who’s “ouching”? Ashley because she fell? Blain because of the pain in chest?] Rupert called out from the curtain as the heavy book landed on his toe.
**END OF SCENE**
Give this page to each person after the presentation. Tell them to rework this scene to reflect ONLY the POV of Ashley, Blain, or Rupert. (May be done at home.)
BLOOD ON THE COVER
by
Kathleen E. Kovach
(But don’t hold it against me!)
Ashley walked into the library of Greystone Manor, her childhood home. The pleasant smells greeted her, evoking memories of her father. The sizzling oak in the fireplace, his expensive cigars, the Bay Rum cologne he always wore.
Little did she know that Blain, the man she’d just met at the party downstairs lay just a few feet away, behind the large desk—his lifeblood draining through the floor boards.
He could see her slender legs and tiny feet from under the desk. He tried to call to her, but the mortal world was fast slipping away, and with it all mortal ability.
Ashley moved across the room to the black walnut shelves that held the classics her father had shared with her those many years ago. She flipped her lustrous blonde hair over her shoulder and twitched her full cherry colored lips in concentration.
Eyes followed her every move. Eyes hidden behind the heavy drape.
Suddenly, Ashley tripped over something. A pair of feet! Blain cried out, pain shooting to the wound in his chest.
Ashley fell on him, knocking over the heavy podium that held the family Bible.
“Ouch!” Rupert called out from the curtain as the heavy book landed on his toe.
**END OF SCENE**
If you try this with your group, drop me a line and let me know how it went along with any suggestions you might have to make it run smoother.
