Show and Tell

First of all, read "The Excitement is Building" on this blog by scrolling down or clicking the link in the archives. This gives the ground rules so we can keep things orderly. It also gives instructions on how to join Fiction FUN if you haven't already. Now, here we go!

Heavenly Father, please be with each member here, help us hone our craft so we can present our writing ministry in a professional manner. We want to give you our best. I pray against the evil one who would try to throw things in our way as we go through this study. And I ask that as we learn and put into practice these things that can be rather dry, that you help us maintain the level of fun as the title suggests. Help us to enjoy each other and relax. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

SHOW AND TELL

Scenes

Following our Kindergarten theme, how appropriate that our first lesson is "show and tell". I loved show and tell in school, mostly because I had all the attention of the entire class. Guess some things never change. This time around, however, the attention is on our scenes. Are we showing or are we telling? First, what is a scene?

According to The Complete Guide to Editing Your Fiction by Michael Seidman, the story line, or the linear action of your piece, is made up of scenes chosen to bring your characters from their beginning to a resolution. "It's a timeline, a record of events caused by and causing other events." My translation: Each scene should feed on the scene before it. If it doesn't move the story along, it must go. Axed. Deleted. Outta there. And that's usually your favorite scene in the book. Save it in a separate folder—mine is labeled "Outtakes", and use it in another story.

Seidman further explains what scenes are:
1.Describes or defines the action
2.Continues the evolution of the character
3.Adds ambiance and tone (putting the reader there, in the story)
4.Creates tension (a need to turn the page)

In our book, Self-Editing For Fiction Writers, (henceforth and forever known as SEFFW,) the authors started out with an example from The Great Gatsby. (BTW, Robert Redford was so totally HOT in that movie…but I digress.) When shown what was happening in the first example, it read rather dry. The second example shows how it appeared in F. Scott Fitzgerald's story. What a difference! I had to go back and read the narrative version because I so didn't get the same experience. SEFFW explains the difference: "The first version is a secondhand report. The second is an immediate scene."

SEFFW describes scenes thus:
1.They usually have settings, someplace the reader can picture
2.They contain some action, something that happens.

They also say that scenes are events that are seen as they happen. A flashback is the same principle. They show events as they unfold, even though they unfolded in the past.

Do you like graham crackers? I sure did in Kindergarten. Couldn't wait for snack time...
The large room came alive with happy squeals as each class filed in for their snacks. Once settled on the painted wooden picnic bench, just my size, I picked up the square dessert, my mouth watering just thinking of the sweet, crumbly goodness that was about to hit my tongue. Upon the first crunch, I knew this graham cracker was probably the best I'd ever tasted. I rolled it around in my mouth, chewing until it was nothing but goo, then swallowed it down with ice cold milk. It all made a path down my throat, and I felt the cool sensation inside my warm little body. After it splashed into my tummy, I started the whole process over again.

Writing a scene, or series of scenes, is like eating a graham cracker. You don't feel the cool sensation of the cracker and milk sliding down your throat until you pick it up and put it in your mouth. You set the scene, placing your reader in your character's skin, and then pick up the cracker and anticipate it.

If you haven't read it already, please go to pg 9, (pg 4 in the older version), and read the two paragraphs that tells about when the SEFFW editors worked on a novel featuring a law firm. In essence, the writer introduced three people in the first chapter by putting their job interviews in narrative summary, telling her readers the job description, the associates' background, and why the firm hired them. But she didn't set the scene. Where were they? What did the room look like? What were they feeling? Who was giving the interview, anyway? In the rewrite, after answering all these questions in a genuine scene, "her readers got a much better feel for who the new associates were and a glimpse of the senior partners' humor and good nature. The book was off to a much more engaging start."


Narrative

Does narrative have a place in modern fiction? You betcha! However, not as much as it had in the past. SEFFW states that because of the "influence of movies and television, readers today have become accustomed to seeing a story as a series of immediate scenes." Drat the boob tube! No longer can we take page after page, expounding in our purple prose the beautiful scene in which we are about to plunge our reader.

Neither are we allowed to clip from immediate scene to immediate scene, expecting our reader to keep up. SEFFW says this type of writing is like jogging on railroad ties. Love that! Therefore, we need to transition our readers into the next scene, and often that can be done with the narrative voice.

According to SEFFW, the purposes for narrative are:
1.To vary rhythm and texture, (give the reader a break, especially if you tend to write brief, intense scenes.)
2.To give continuity on a larger scale, (use narrative to fill in spaces of time rather than several scenes spanning time.)
3.To cut down on repetitive action, (a hero participates in several races—put some in narrative to keep from boring the reader.)
4.To show less important scenes, (say there's a minor event leading up to a key scene—narrate the first event so that when the important scene happens, it will seem more immediate in contrast.)


R.U.E.

So, back to showing…If you want your readers to be involved, RESIST THE URGE TO EXPLAIN, (R.U.E.) Don't tell the reader that your heroine is depressed, show them in action or dialogue. And be careful when you do show it in dialogue, not to further tell, just in case your reader didn't get it the first time. As in:
"Pass that half-gallon of ice cream this way, and hold the bowl," Kathy said after her tenth rejection of the year. She was depressed and didn't care who knew it.

SEFFW, reminds us that "show, don't tell," isn't a hard-and-fast rule. There are times when telling "will create more engagement than showing." They conclude with this: "…when you show your story rather than tell it, you treat you readers with respect. And that respect makes it easier for you to draw them into the world you've created."

FUN Work
(isn't that an oxymoron?)

1. Read Chapter 1, "Show and Tell" in SEFFW if you haven't already.
2. Do the exercises. (Stop groaning, they're easy.)
3. Consider your wip (work in progress). Print out a scene or chapter.
4. Take a highlighter and mark all instances of telling.
a. Are there large blocks of yellow? If so, rewrite them to create a scene. Remember your setting; put the reader in your character's skin.
b. Maybe there's hardly any yellow. Are you bouncing the reader from scene to scene without allowing them to breathe? Either add narrative, or change some of your scenes to help it flow better.
5. Use a different highlighter and mark where you've told how your character feels outside of the dialogue. Are there ways to show it instead of tell it. Watch for instances where the character's emotions comes through in dialogue, and then it is further explained.

When you comment, discuss your wip (or create a scene just for this project) in regards to:
1. How you set a particular scene, (placing the reader in the character's skin.)
2. How you showed emotion in dialogue or action.
3. Have you axed a scene that didn't move the story along? If so, do you need chocolate?
If you need help with these things, that's what we're here for. Don't be shy. You may paste part of your story. Just please keep it brief, no more than a page.

Thanks all, for agreeing to be my "test" class. I've never done this before, so I appreciate any constructive comments sent privately to kracklinprosie@logonco.net.

Love you all!
Kathy

Michael Seidman, The Complete Guide to Editing Your Fiction, (Writers Digest Books, 2000), 40
Renni Browne and Dave King, Self-Editing For Fiction Writers, 2nd Edition, (Harper Collins Publishers, Inc., 2004) 7-9, 12-14,19